Resisting the Urge to Control

Resisting the Urge to Control


Resisting the urge to control circumstances is one of my biggest weaknesses.

I want to be able to control my environment and be in charge. It is the human failure of thinking that no one can do it as well as I can.

Most of us feel this way most of the time – if you want something done right, do it yourself.

There isn’t a more unproductive or uninspiring way to lead. We need to trust other people and empower them to do what needs to get done.

It may not be comfortable giving up control, but it can be freeing. If I can focus my energy on more important items and let others take some of the workload off from me why shouldn’t I?

This is not as easy as it sounds. What if people mess up? Or what if they don’t do as good a job as I would have done? What if they do it better than me?

Insecurity is a part of being human. We have to let go of our own egos and allow others to succeed. It is the success of others that lifts us up.

When other do well it is a reflection of the leader. It shows trust, empowerment, and good decision-making. The leader who insist on doing everything themselves, or having it done their way, is just displaying insecurity in their own ability.

A good leader leads in spite of their insecurities.

Leading while feeling inadequate is tough. There is a certain amount of neurosis that comes along with being a manager. It is lonely and demanding. You have to live with your internal conflicts and criticisms, those of your boss, and also the critique of the people you are in charge of leading.

I am amazed that I am able to hold it together some days. It helps to have a good sense of humor and not take myself too seriously.

Trust others. Quite seeing yourself as smarter than everybody else. And admit when you need help. Allow others to use their skills and talents. Be willing to accept that other people’s ideas and methods are just as valid as yours.

There is enough stress in life without adding to it by thinking you have to take it all on by yourself.


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